It wasn't me!

Kalyaburo, as they say in my part of the country, ‘entonge etakuniga’ (don’t choke on your food, read popcorn); for the drama in Uganda right from the media siege to Sujusa’s missives is a joke that is refusing to go away and one is bound to choke on their meal at the rate that it is playing out!

However, I doubt that this saga is of the significance that it has claimed, but I believe that government lacks a serious Public Relations machinery to combat such incidents and ends up playing in the hands of the so called victims.

To that later; first, let us look at the man in the limelight. General David Sejusa aka Tinyefuza aka Tinye.

I believe that never in the history of Uganda, has much emphasis been put in a name. Sejusa or Tinyefuza translates to ‘I don’t regret’ while Tinye means (it wasn’t me).

Sejusa for most part of the guerrilla war of the 1980’s ending in 1986 with the usurpation of power by the NRA, was a key player and a member of the inner command structure, albeit a stretch of time (September 1984 – March 1985) spent in detention for insubordination.  During the Northern Uganda uprising of the Lakwena’s and later Kony, Sejusa was a blunt tool used by government to bring the North to its knees and he was the architect of the scorched-earth approach against the LRA and the Northern Uganda populace.

Later on after the famous fall out with his boss over his utterances on Nov 28, 1996, when he told the parliamentary committee on Defence and Internal Affairs in a testimony, that the war in the north was not ending because of mismanagement and inefficiency of the army, he was ordered to appear before the High Command. He refused and instead applied to resign, writing to the president that;  “…I know my own faults very well and I do not suppose I am an easy subordinate; I like to go my own way.”, he found himself in courts of law, and subsequently on katebe (read redundancy). Writing later to apologise to his commander in chief the humiliated General says; “you know that I am stubborn and a pain in the ass” (not his actual words, but you get the gist).

Sejusa was after the eating pie humiliation brought back in favour and was pronto sent to his blunt tool duties; to do what he does best. You all remember the black mambas saga at the courts of law which the High court judge termed the rape of justice. Much later he would preside over the police high handedness in the blockage of the walk to work demonstrations in Kampala.

The most recent typical Sejusa stunt was when the current Kampala Chief Executive Jennifer Musisi was threatened with death over a house eviction by our very own General. And I believe that this is the incident that rubbed him the wrong way. He must have expected some protection from his mentor and commander in chief. Wasn’t he after all using the premises to execute his blunt tool duties at the whim of his boss? Wasn’t this his duty station? Of course the boss would rein in Jennifer and all would be duty as usual.

Unfortunately, whether pre-planned or not, Museveni’s attention was turned to his blue eyed girl Jennifer. Sejusa was evicted, and that must have hurt!

How does one try to understand such a two faced individual? Sejusa; I don’t regret! Well, the name says it all. After falling out (not for the first time) with his boss, he ran to the court of public opinion and cried wolf. Internally as his name suggests he doesn’t regret his actions but expects us the masses to sympathise with him.

I will make a fuss, throw a tantrum and later on, the public will sympathise with me!

How else do you explain his apology to the president during his daughters wedding: “It was as if I was possessed because I received advice from some circles but I later woke up to my senses and made a turn-around. I am prepared to work with you even more,” he added: “Everyone here, please join me to thank the President for forgiving me, because he accepted my apology.” Typical, I say! Immediately when the money purses are drying out, he creeps back with a public apology to his mentor asking for mercy? No regrets!

Where was he when the army hierarchy was fighting with the same Tumukunde that he is referring to in his most current missive? I know where! Sitting with the army high command drafting the rules! Sejusa – no regrets!

The only time we are going to see this gentleman come out showing any semblance to regret, is when his very own livelihood is at stake. Forget the youth; forget the soldiers that he wants us to focus on. This is about Sejusa and his new found predicament.

Given a few years of exile where the monthly stipend for an asylum-seeker in the UK is not more than £280 equivalent to Uganda Shillings One million, we are bound to witness another about-turn from our ‘hero’ seeking for a renewed lease of tenancy on the feasting table.

What is at stake is the generalisation of the issues raised by the General namely; the Muhoozi project, the dissatisfaction in the army and personal interests of an individual riding on the sentiments of a disgruntled society.

Which brings me back to the issue of government’s public relations; which is either deliberately lacking or definitely lacking. I will prefer to go with the later, mainly because government has already shown its hand by the crude media siege saga and consequent demonstrations which in our famous Uganda style, go hand in hand with tear gas and police high handedness. Sejusa one government nil!

The solution in my opinion is two-fold. Government can come out with a dossier on the General, pointing out his shortcomings (tricky if some incriminate Government), publically sack him from his post and demote him to a lower rank (Major or worse?) while at the same time recalling him from parliament. High-handed? Not at all! You will find that all these remedies are catered for in whichever instruments governing the different sectors that this General served in. This is a full frontal attack that will shock the General because it is a language he understands. Settling the score through suffocating the media is collateral damage which makes the General come out on top. Bring the battle closer to home; where it hurts. Make it personal.

On the other hand, ignore the man and hope that he will fade away! Target everyone else that seems to support him passively or actively! A folly I would advise against, because you know what? This is exactly what he expects Government to do. And guess what? So far, they have fallen right in his trap!

Kalyaburo, I advised you not to choke! This saga is still playing out! How it ends depends on the public relations capability of the two warring parties. So far, the winner has no regrets. Well, it wasn’t him!

Amazing!

This leaves me wondering why I keep kicking myself! Damn! This guy is cool!

The amazing past!

How many singers can you spot? If you spot more than 10, consider yourself a genius!!

I can only spot four: Orlando, Juliana, Jimmy Katumba, and Sweet Kid! Beat that!

Is your partner the one for you?

Amanda May

“So, what do you do?” and “Where are you from?” aren’t exactly the most scintillating questions to ask on a date—nor do they actually give you any juicy information about the person sitting across from you. If you really want to know whether you’ve got good chemistry and long-term potential here, you need to probe harder than that. But what kind of questions do you ask? Here, we asked three dating experts to help us dig through all the small talk to come up with five no-nonsense queries that reveal a lot more than they let on. Don’t worry, there are no right or wrong answers. “You’re not looking for your clone,” says Laurie Seale, author of The Questions to Ask Before You Jump into Bed. “You’re judging whether someone shares your values and goals to see whether they’d be a good long-term partner.” And if not—if his or her answers are so wacky and opposite of what you believe that you don’t think you’ll last through the next 50 minutes, never mind the next 50 years—then at least you’ve had an evening of interesting conversation!

Questions that reveal if you're a match:

Question 1: “If your company gave one-year paid sabbaticals, what would you do for that year?”

Maybe they’d run off to a remote island in the Pacific, start their own business, or spend their days working in a soup kitchen. Whatever your date answers, “This is a very revealing question, and a perfect one to ask on a first-date,” says Seale. “It reveals your date’s true passions and priorities, showing you whether they’re selfless, selfish, or overly ambitious.” You’ll also learn what this person cares about but isn’t making time for right now. “Your follow-up question should be, ‘Are you doing anything like that right now?’” says Seale. “Obviously they can’t spend every day in the soup kitchen, but do they volunteer on weekends?” And who knows—maybe you’ll wind up bonding over your secret desire to track down rare African birds or start your own Klezmer band.

Question 2: “Will you share an embarrassing moment with me?”

Is she secure enough to laugh at the time she gave a huge work presentation with ketchup on her shirt? Can he share the embarrassment of falling on Rollerblades while trying to impress an ex? It’s not the actual activity that matters—you want to know whether he / she can be vulnerable around you early on. “If he / she admit to, say, trying out for Pop Idol and bombing big-time, at least you know they don’t take themselves too seriously,” admits Diane Mapes, author of How to Date in a Post-Dating World. And remember: If someone’s willing to share their private failures, you need to be ready to share some of your most embarrassing moments as well. In fact, it’s probably best if you spill the beans first, and one easy way to do that is to say “First dates make me kind of nervous, but I always remind myself it pales in comparison to the time I took a crack at being a footie goalie—and caught two balls in the face!”

Question 3: “If your house were on fire, what’s the one thing you’d make sure to save?”

Want to learn whether your date is sentimental or practical? Find out whether he’d rescue his grandfather’s pocket watch or his laptop, says Sharyn Wolf, author of So You Want to Get Married: Guerilla Tactics for Turning a Date into a Mate. “This question gives you a sense of what’s valuable to someone, and whether your values coincide,” she explains. Make sure to ask why they’d grab that particular item—you may found she’d grab her college diaries because those were amazing years when she learned (and recorded) so much about life, or that he’d grab his vinyl record collection since he adores being a DJ at parties. And if you’re wondering how you bring up such an odd topic, consider an opener like, “I have a lot of interests and hobbies, but what’s truly close to my heart is fishing. In fact, my tackle box is the first thing I’d grab if my house were burning down. That, and my first edition of Jack London’s Call Of The Wild. How about you?”

Question 4: “What’s the biggest misperception people have about you?”

Maybe your date will say that everyone thinks he’s snobby and stuck-up, when he’s really just shy. It’s a good thing to know—especially if you’ve been sitting across from him thinking just that. “You’ll get a sense of how the person views him or herself,” explains Wolf. “And it gives you the chance to take a step back and rethink your opinion of them.” This is a great first-date question, particularly if you make the disclosure first, says Wolfe. Say, for example, “Sometimes people think I talk too much, but I just tend to babble when nervous. Is there anything you do that you think gives people an off-base first impression of you?” This gives you the opportunity to clear up any misperceptions your date might have about you, while also helping you know your “real” date without having to pry.

Question 5: “What’s the one life experience you want a do-over on?” Here’s your chance to learn a juicy tidbit about your date’s past: Does he secretly wish he went to culinary school instead of law school? Does she rue the day she gave up her pet cat to clinch that great “no pets” pad? Everyone’s got some regrets, and they speak tons about someone’s character. Not sure how to segue into this heavy question? You’re best off warming them up first with your own confession, whether that’s how you wished you’d taken a year off after college just to travel or had quit a bad job before it became a really, really bad job. Just say, “I’ve pretty happy with how things are going right now, but the one thing I always wished I’d done differently is _______. How about you?”

Writer Amanda May has written for Redbook and other publications.

Let's Talk Sex!

By Robert Chu, Ph.D., L.Ac

Sex feels good. And the proper amount of sex can help maintain you physical and emotional health. But balance is the key. Both having too little or too much sex can lead to unhealthy conditions.

As a doctor of traditional Chinese medicine, maintaining balance in all life's activities is what I strive for... in myself and in my patients. Let us look at the effects of too much sex, too little sex, and what the proper amounts should be, based on your age and condition.

How Much Sex is Too Much?

The theories of Chinese medicine warn of the dangers of having too much sex. A person could become what is called, in Chinese medicine, kidney jing deficient. Jing refers to the main essence fluids of the body, distilled from what we eat and drink. Jing is stored in the kidneys – the batteries of the body. It gives us energy and healthy internal systems. In fact, we are born with enough essence to ensure a lifespan of 120 years. Problem is, we exhaust it through our poor eating, poor rest, lack of exercise, unstable emotions, stress, disease and by having an unhealthy amount of sex!

Signs and symptoms of kidney jing deficiency include a weakening of the bones, loss of hair, a graying of the face, loosening or loss of teeth, low back soreness, weakness of the legs (particularly behind the knees), poor memory, loss of libido, impotence and a general lack of sexual desire. If you are suffering from any of these signs and symptoms, perhaps you should consider if too much sex is killing you, or at least weakening you.

With too much ejaculation, jing is depleted from the body. As a man ages past his middle years, the excessive loss of jing (semen) can have the disastrous effects described above. The young can engage in frequent copulation, but the middle aged and elderly should only release semen infrequently.

There is a classic text on Chinese medicine called Su Nu Jing. It was published almost 2,000 years ago and suggests that to maintain health, a man should have a certain amount of ejaculations according to his age and health. At the age of 20, if a person is in good health, it is suggested that two ejaculations a day is reasonable. Moreover, having one ejaculation every four days is the minimum necessary to maintain health.

The chart below suggests the guidelines from that classic text:

Age	Good health	Average Health	Minimum
20	2x Day	1X Day	Every 4 days
30	1x Day	Every other day	Every 8 days
40	Every 3 days	Every 4 days	Every 16 days
50	Every 5 days	Every 10 days	Every 21 days
60	Every 10 days	Every 20 days	Every 30 days

Of course, these are rough guidelines and should not be strictly adhered to. At least it gives you an idea of the frequency a man should have sex in order to maintain good health and balanced emotions. Of course, the converse is true, that no sex at all can cause resentment, depression and anxiety... which could possibly lead to long term disease.

Now, the average 20-year-old male who is engaging in masturbation three times a day in college is probably overdoing it. This could possibly affect his grades (poor memory) or affect his collegiate tennis match (with weak knees and sore low back).

The 40 year old executive thinking of having that affair with the nice 24 year old intern might want to consider if he is in good enough health to survive an extramarital affair. He could wind up suffering from hair loss, aging of the face, low back soreness, weak legs, poor memory, loss of libido, impotence, and lack of sexual desire that could cost him his career and his health... not to mention his marriage!

How Much Sex is Too Little?

Sex is important for relationships, not just emotionally, but for the organ systems as well. Ladies, when men tell you they feel like they are dying from lack of sex, it's only partially true. In reality, the choked up emotions and lack of connection can cause him to suffer the Chinese Medicine syndrome known as liver qi stagnation.

According to Chinese medicine theory, the liver functions to move the qi (life energy) freely in the body. Liver qi stagnation, then, is when there is a pathogenic flow of the correct qi manifesting in some of the following signs and symptoms: feeling of distension in the chest and hypochondrium, sighing, hiccup, melancholy, depression, moodiness, unhappiness and feeling of a lump in the throat. Often the etiology of this syndrome includes emotional problems, a state of anger, frustration or resentment.

If this condition persists, it can grow into what is called liver fire. The signs and symptoms associated live fire include irritability, anger, shouting, ringing in the ears, temporal headache, bitter taste in the mouth, dream disturbed sleep, a red face and red eyes. This is the result of long-standing emotional states of anger, resentment or frustration. This can cause problems like high blood pressure, tinnitis, insomnia, migraine headache and the like.

Good sexual relations are a part of good health. Overdoing it can be detrimental to health, and we have found that too little sex can also have an negative effect on health. My advice: Be happy and be wise in the ways of lovemaking.

Hat tip: Josh Nkuru

Mozart's Symphony No. 40

WOW - genius!!



Hat tip: Andrew Sullivan

Everybody hates Bush! LOL

Pirates' luxury lifestyles on lawless coast

And who said that crime doesn't pay?!

MOGADISHU, Somalia (AP) -- Somalia's increasingly brazen pirates are building sprawling stone houses, cruising in luxury cars, marrying beautiful women -- even hiring caterers to prepare Western-style food for their hostages.

And in an impoverished country where every public institution has crumbled, they have become heroes in the steamy coastal dens they operate from because they are the only real business in town.

"The pirates depend on us, and we benefit from them," said Sahra Sheik Dahir, a shop owner in Haradhere, the nearest village to where a hijacked Saudi Arabian supertanker carrying $100 million in crude was anchored Wednesday.

"The oldest man on the ship always takes the responsibility of collecting the money, because we see it as very risky, and he gets some extra payment for his service later,"

These boomtowns are all the more shocking in light of Somalia's violence and poverty: Radical Islamists control most of the country's south, meting out lashings and stonings for accused criminals. There has been no effective central government in nearly 20 years, plunging this arid African country into chaos.

Life expectancy is just 46 years; a quarter of children die before they reach 5.

But in northern coastal towns like Haradhere, Eyl and Bossaso, the pirate economy is thriving thanks to the money pouring in from pirate ransoms that have reached $30 million this year alone.

In Haradhere, residents came out in droves to celebrate as the looming oil ship came into focus this week off the country's lawless coast. Businessmen started gathering cigarettes, food and cold glass bottles of orange soda, setting up small kiosks for the pirates who come to shore to re-supply almost daily.

Dahir said she is so confident in the pirates, she instituted a layaway plan just for them.

"They always take things without paying and we put them into the book of debts," she told The Associated Press in a telephone interview. "Later, when they get the ransom money, they pay us a lot."

For Somalis, the simple fact that pirates offer jobs is enough to gain their esteem, even as hostages languish on ships for months. The population makes sure the pirates are well-stocked in qat, a popular narcotic leaf, and offer support from the ground even as the international community tries to quash them.

"Regardless of how the money is coming in, legally or illegally, I can say it has started a life in our town," said Shamso Moalim, a 36-year-old mother of five in Haradhere.

"Our children are not worrying about food now, and they go to Islamic schools in the morning and play soccer in the afternoon. They are happy."

Despite a beefed-up international presence, the pirates continue to seize ships, moving further out to sea and demanding ever-larger ransoms. The pirates operate mostly from the semiautonomous Puntland region, where local lawmakers have been accused of helping the pirates and taking a cut of the ransoms.

For the most part, however, the regional officials say they have no power to stop piracy.

Meanwhile, towns that once were eroded by years of poverty and chaos are now bustling with restaurants, Land Cruisers and Internet cafes. Residents also use their gains to buy generators -- allowing full days of electricity, once an unimaginable luxury in Somalia.

There are no reliable estimates of the number of pirates operating in Somalia, but they must number in the thousands. And though the bandits do sometimes get nabbed, piracy is generally considered a sure bet to a better life.

NATO and the U.S. Navy say they can't be everywhere, and American officials are urging ships to hire private security. Warships patrolling off Somalia have succeeded in stopping some pirate attacks. But military assaults to wrest back a ship are highly risky and, up to now, uncommon.

The attackers generally treat their hostages well in anticipation of a big payday, hiring caterers on shore to cook spaghetti, grilled fish and roasted meat that will appeal to a Western palate. They also keep a steady supply of cigarettes and drinks from the shops on shore.

And when the payday comes, the money sometimes literally falls from the sky.

Pirates say the ransom arrives in burlap sacks, sometimes dropped from buzzing helicopters, or in waterproof suitcases loaded onto tiny skiffs in the roiling, shark-infested sea.

"The oldest man on the ship always takes the responsibility of collecting the money, because we see it as very risky, and he gets some extra payment for his service later," Aden Yusuf, a pirate in Eyl, told AP over VHF radio.

The pirates use money-counting machines -- the same technology seen at foreign exchange bureaus worldwide -- to ensure the cash is real. All payments are done in cash because Somalia, a failed state, has no functioning banking system.

"Getting this equipment is easy for us, we have business connections with people in Dubai, Nairobi, Djibouti and other areas," Yusuf said. "So we send them money and they send us what we want."

Widow killed by husband's coffin!

A widow has been killed by her late husband's coffin in a freak accident on the way to his funeral.

Brazilian Marciana Silva Barcelos, 67, was on her way to the cemetery when the hearse she was travelling in was hit by another car.

The coffin was thrown forward by the impact and slammed into her head, killing her instantly.

Her husband Josi Silveira Coimbra, 76, had died the night before from a heart attack at a dance.

The driver of the hearse and Barcelos' son suffered minor injuries.

The accident occured in Rio Grande do Sul, Brazil's Southernmost state.

£5000 left in charity shoes returned!

I didn't know that such goodness and honesty still existed!

A charity shop in the US has returned £5,000 to a man who mistakenly donated the money with a pair of old shoes.

The cash was discovered by a Bulgarian immigrant on her first day at the Goodwill store in Illinois.

Teodora Petrova turned over the money to management after finding it in a shoebox.

The $7,500 (just over £5,000) was bundled in large denominations.

The Glen Carbon store then prepared for the difficult steps of tracking down the shoes' donor.

Fortunately, scraps of paper left in the box gave enough hints to help Goodwill to locate the family.

The donor apparently also called the donation store's office, guessing he was the source of the cash.

The shoes belonged to the man's recently deceased parents.

The Goodwill store said he didn't want to be identified.

The family has offered Ms Petrova a gift for her honesty in turning over the money.